
You can fight Laura Bailey but you’ll lose. Have you seen Laura Bailey she’s so cool and charming and amazing.

Either she’ll take you out at the knees right away, or she’ll wink at you and you’ll fight yourself for her honor. Laura Bailey: you can fight Laura Bailey but you will lose.

You can fight Taliesin Jaffe, but he’s going to win. Before you can blink, he’ll have defeated you, probably using something obscure from history. He has the power of Luck Manipulation granted to him by mysterious dark forces. Taliesin Jaffe: you can fight Taliesin Jaffe. Even if you do catch him why would you want to fight him oh my god leave Liam O’Brien alone! (Also if you did fight him, you’d then have to defeat the combined rage of Sam, Laura, me, and half the fanbase charging to his defense.) You can fight Liam O’Brien but at what cost. The man runs 10 miles every day for fun so … good fucking luck. Liam O’Brien: first you would have to catch him. (Also if you fight Marisha Ray I will find you and then *I* will fight you because she has enough jackasses being rude to her, and that needs to stop.) Marisha Ray: Do not fight Marisha Ray! Not only does she know actual marital arts, she used to be part of something called Fight Club where they used melee weapons. He’d probably thank you for being a fan and help you to your feet if he defeated you. It would be an interesting fight regardless of who won or lost. He might surprise you though, lanky people can be wily fighters. The man is incredibly intelligent but he’s not especially buff. Matthew Mercer: you can fight Matthew Mercer.
